The Best Taxi in Town

‘The Best Taxi In Town’ brings you some South African humour. First written, published and performed nine year ago, this is one taxi that is still going strong. As to what the chicken’s got to do with it and who owns it, read the poem to find out.

gogos-chicken

The Best Taxi in Town, Bru.

I’ve got twenty.

There’s room for three more.

Don’t worry about

breaking the law.

The steering wheel’s

held together with string.

The pedals aren’t too

good for pumping.

The hub caps were stolen.

The back wheel fell out.

Yes, madam, we can take

7 more children.

Squeeze them in between the

chicken and the goat.

Don’t worry, the seat’s quite safe.

I used one role of sticky tape this morning.

Come on, baba.

You sit there.

Because there’s no window

you’ll get fresh air.

Don’ worry, sissie.

I’ll go peep-peep

good and fast.

I know the way.

No, not twenty minutes.

I’ll do it in ten.

Yes, yes my music’s the

best in any taxi.

Ask the police who

always try to stop me.

Don’t worry, lady.

There’s room in the boot.

When we get to your place

I’ll stop and I’ll hoot.

I’ve got the best taxi in town, bra.

I’m telling you for sure.

No, madam, I don’t

drive like a tsotsi.

I’ve got my licence

and I know about the law.

If you look, he’s coming now

so I’m going sharp-sharp.

I don’t want to go phakathi

or pay a great, big fine.

I lost the key

So I use the wire.

Here I go too sharp.

What! Your police car broke down?

OK sergeant, get inside.

I’ll take you to the station.

For you it’s free.

Trust me

ek sê, my bra.

Move up, gogo.

Shesha, manje!

Sit here, sergeant

and hold the gogo’s chicken.

The front tyre’s a bit flat,

but don’t mind that,

because I’m telling you sergeant, my bra,

I’ve got the best taxi in KZN.

Yes. Parp! Parp! We can take some more.

It’s five rand and please squeeze in,

but mind the gogo’s chicken!

©   Andrew Pender – Smith

Translations

baba – grandfather

tsotsi – thief

ek sê – I say

sissie – sister

phakathi – inside (As in inside prison.)

shesha manje – quick now

gogo – granny

KZN – KawaZulu-Natal

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